8 Incredible Tips for Being Positive and Being More Likable

Tips for Being Positive

Being positive is an important part of living a full life. People often ask me if I ever get mad or upset, I tell them, not really. Honestly, it’s just not worth getting angry. It’s exhausting and doesn’t accomplish anything. I’m sure we all have friends that are real downers; every time you talk to them, it’s always, ‘Poor me…, this happened, then this and I can’t believe so and so did this to me. Can you believe that?’ Oh we can believe it because we are about to do the same…. Okay, not really, but those people are hard to be around a lot of the time, so let’s make sure we’re not one of them. 🙂

I want to share what I’ve done in my life to help me keep a positive outlook (don’t get me wrong, I’m not perfect, but I’m sure trying and I actually wanted to write this post because I can see myself not being as good as I used to be). Here’s the 8 incredible tips for being positive and more likable.

Being Positive Tip #1: Tomorrow is a New Day

Remember, you can start fresh every day. So maybe you didn’t accomplish everything on your list today, it’s okay; it’s not the end of the world (hopefully…). Remind yourself, you can always do better tomorrow. Don’t be too hard on yourself, realize the regret you may have felt and let that help you do better tomorrow.

You can also remember all of the things that you have accomplished and how far you’ve already come. You can continue to progress each new day.

Admit when you’ve done something wrong and move on; don’t dwell on it. Live in the present and look to what you can accomplish in the future.

Being Positive Tip #2: Love Yourself so you can Love Others

Sounds cheesy right? Well, it’s the truth, so embrace it. Knowing that you are an amazing person (because you are) is where it starts. None of us are perfect, but we are great and we can continue to improve, that’s what this life is all about. Without having confidence and a healthy self-esteem, it will be harder to reach out to others because we will be worrying about ourselves. Once we realize that we are great and have great potential, we can help others to realize that too. It starts with loving who we are and who we can become, then we can reach out to others and put the focus on them and not on ourselves. We can have an outward focus rather than inward focus.

Loving others and serving others are great ways to stay positive – you’re focusing on others which means you aren’t having a pity party for yourself. Every time I visit my niece and nephew, for example, my love just grows for them and I want to help them and serve them – even if it just means playing fish frogs with my nephew and reading a book to my niece. Focusing on others puts you in a different mindset – it’s not all about you, it’s about what you can do for others. Just offering your help to someone can change your mood completely.

Being Positive Tip #3: Let the Little Things Go

Try not to get caught up in the moment, just let it go (unless it’s a good moment, then by all means…). People say things that can get us upset, but if we are able to take a step back and just let it roll off our back, we save a lot of time and energy and possibly a lot of apologizing. Try not to feel offended. Most likely, people aren’t trying to offend you; sometimes they speak without thinking things through or it just doesn’t come out right. We can give people the benefit of the doubt and save a lot of hard, negative feelings.

Everyone is in a different situation. We don’t know what’s been going on in their lives, if they just lost their job or found out they’ve been cheated on. If we can try to put ourselves in their shoes, it will be easier to understand where they’re coming from. Even if we don’t know where they’re coming from, we can still give them the benefit of the doubt and just let it go (yes, that phrase is very popular now, but it’s a good one, so I’m sticking with it). Also, being a believer in God, remembering that we are all children of God, I try to see others as God would see them, as His son or daughter, and think, how would God treat them? This one is a little harder in the moment, but nonetheless, a great perspective to try to see others in a different light.

Also being able to forgive ourselves, along with others, will lift a heavy burden from us. If we’ve done something wrong and it’s eating us up, then we should ask forgiveness, feel remorse and try not to do it again. Once we’ve done that, we need to let it go. If someone has done something to us, even if they haven’t asked for forgiveness, we need to forgive them (I’m not saying we need to trust them or do anything else, if it’s not right). We will not be able to move on until we have truly forgiven them and just let it go.

Being Positive Tip #4: Smile

A smile goes a LONG way. I know this from personal experience. I am a big proponent of smiling and I’ll tell you where it started. I was sitting in a church meeting and a lady was sharing this experience about a grandmother (I can’t remember if it was her own grandma or not, this was when I was pretty young). Her granddaughter turned to her and asked, ‘Grandma, you have a lot of wrinkles on your face, but they all turn upwards, how’d you do that?’ Her grandmother replied, ‘It’s from all the smiling I’ve done throughout my life.’ I immediately thought, I want my wrinkles to turn upward when I get old. I’ve never stopped smiling since.

So over all my years of smiling, that’s what I get complimented on most and I love it. Trust me, my yearbooks are filled with ‘love your smile’ and ‘great smile,’ but that’s beside the point, unless that’s what you want to be complimented on, then start smiling or smile more. 🙂  Here’s what I’ve noticed through all of my smiles. When I’m smiling at others, they smile back – it’s contagious. You can tell it changes a person’s mood for the better. When I’m smiling, I’m not upset. When I’m smiling, I’m not crying (unless I’m laughing so hard, then I can’t help it). When I smile, my whole face lights up, which makes my inside light up. I no longer feel down, my burdens are instantly lightened, things don’t seem as bad and I know I can carry on. Smiling is so simple, but so powerful. So smile already!

Being Positive Tip #5: Be Grateful

Being grateful for what you have will instantly brighten your mood. We have lots to be grateful for, like being able to read this blog post. 😉 When we express our gratefulness for everything we are blessed with it’s hard to see things we are missing. If we are focusing on the good then we won’t have time to focus on the bad, or vice versa, so let’s focus on the good. My mom gave me a ‘grateful journal’ quite awhile ago and each day I was suppose to write things I was grateful for, I did it for awhile (I’m not perfect) and it was amazing to see how many things I took for granted and how many new things I could come up with each day. Realizing what we have can change our whole outlook on life – we can become more and more positive the more grateful we are. Each night I express my gratefulness to God for my many many blessings. Then I notice, things that I was struggling with just don’t seem so bad anymore. It’s all in our perception and attitude, so let’s have an attitude of gratitude.

Being Positive Tip #6: If You Can’t Say Anything Good, Don’t Say Anything At All

How many times did we hear that when we were growing up? ‘If you can’t say anything good, don’t say anything at all.’ I heard it numerous times and I guess it stuck (somewhat, remember, I’m not perfect). It is really good advice because I remember saying something negative to someone or about someone, then regretting it later, or even immediately, and thinking, I wish I could take it back. So let’s bite our tongue a bit more and think about what we’re saying before we say it so we don’t have to regret it.

This also includes complaining. Complaining doesn’t really do any good. So remember that person we talked about earlier, the ‘oh, poor me’? Let’s not be that person we all can’t stand to be around for more than 10 minutes. Rather than complaining, do something about it.

I love this experience I had with my father when I was growing up. He told my sister and me to put away our shoes that we left in the family room. We were busy playing, so we didn’t put them away and the next day when we went to put on our shoes, they were missing from the family room. We were searching everywhere, and I can’t remember how, but for some reason, I looked on the front porch and there were our shoes. My dad asked us to do something and we didn’t; he didn’t nag or complain about it, he took matters into his own hands. Pretty sure if he would have just complained, we would have done it again. We didn’t leave our shoes in the family room for sometime after that because who wants to go out in the cold barefoot to get their shoes?? Nobody.

Stop complaining and do something about it. If it’s something you can’t change then accept that and move on. No one wants to hear hours of complaining; it only brings your mood down (and others), not up, so let’s talk about the good stuff that’s going on, that’s a lot more fun!

Being Positive Tip #7: Look for the Good in Things

If you’re looking for the good, you’ll find it. If you’re looking for the bad, you’ll find that too. My friend and I joined a singles ward (a church group) together and our mutual friends would ask us how the ward was. My friend would always say, “If you want the optimistic view, ask Tiffany. If you want the realistic view, I’ll tell you.” I thought it was really funny, but I also thought my ‘optimistic view’ was the truth. You can always find the good if you’re looking for it. It’s just a mindset.

Here’s some ideas to help look for the positive.

If you’ve gone through a hard experience or made a mistake of some sort, think, ‘What can I learn from this?’ There’s always something you can pull out, even if it is something simple like, ‘get gasoline when I’m at half a tank’ instead of thinking ‘I can stretch past the empty mark’ (we don’t need to end up stranded somewhere).

Look at the situation from a different angle or try to see a benefit from it. I didn’t get this job, but now I have time to focus on growing my blog.

Maybe this isn’t the best tip, but it can be helpful, comparing your trial to someone else’s trial that seems a lot more difficult than yours and being grateful you have your trial and not the other person’s. There’s lots of trials I see people go through and think, there’s no way I would have survived that, but if they got through it, I can definitely get through mine.

Keep an eternal perspective. Try to think why you might have been given a certain experience, is it so you’ll be able to help others when they go through a similar experience? Being able to focus on the bigger picture may be able to help you realize why it’s happening, which can help turn it into a more positive experience.

Being Positive Tip #8: Have Balance

It’s a lot easier to be positive when your life is balanced. I’m not saying when your life is perfect, I’m just saying when you have order and balance to your life. You’ll have less to worry about because you’ll feel fulfilled in all aspects of your life; therefore, you can focus on the positive.

If things are flailing about and you don’t have some order and balance, you’ll more likely be stressed. Creating a plan, so you have balance in your physical, social/emotional, financial, mental and spiritual aspects of life will help you to become a more positive person overall.

By focusing too much on one thing, you can become stressed; it can consume all of your energy and you can get burned out quickly. By having balance in your life, you’re able to focus on different things and not become over-obsessed with just one thing, letting the rest of your life fall to pieces. We all have different strengths and weaknesses, so by creating a balance in our lives, we can continue to strengthen our strengths and strengthen our weaknesses.

I’ve found that by setting a goal to work toward, helps me focus. I’ve actually set at least one goal in each aspect of life. I wouldn’t recommend setting too many goals; that wouldn’t help you focus. But setting a goal in each area (physical, social/emotional, financial, mental, spiritual) would be helpful so you can focus on each aspect to help keep balance in your life.

I’ve seen where work becomes the main focus and other important things get left behind, like a wife and children, or even a potential wife and children. I’ve also seen where some girls have focused so much on dating that they forget about their friends, expanding their education, having other interests besides guys. When there’s one thing consuming the majority of our time, it’s hard to remember that we should be focusing on others, serving others, and being grateful for what we have.

Our thoughts become our words and our words become our actions. Thinking positively will reflect in our actions. Being positive doesn’t necessarily mean you are cheerful all the time, it means you’re able to take one day at a time, let things go, forgive others and see the good. So let’s recap, remember tomorrow is a new day, love yourself, love & serve others, let things go, smile :), be grateful, only say the good, look for the good and have balance.

Applying these tips about being positive will not only help you be more positive, but will make you more likable. Like I mentioned above, people don’t usually like to hang out with those that have a negative attitude, and the opposite is true as well, people like to hang out with those that are positive.

I’m sure there’s other things I missed. What helps keep you positive?

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